My Struggle....

 For as long as I can remember I have always been extremely self conscious about my weight and appearance. Starting when I went to BYU I quickly gained the "freshmen 15" and it kept going. Before I knew it I was at a weight I was horrified of seeing when I went on the scale. Once I got pregnant with Abby I figured "well now I have an excuse for being overweight" and never really thought much about it. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes which also meant that if I did not lose some weight that my chances of getting diabetes later in life were now 50 50. After Abby I decided I wanted to lose weight. I tried doing work out videos at home, talking her on long walks every day, watching what I ate...the norm to try to lose weight. Once I got onto a good routine of working out at home soon after I found out I was pregnant again. We were so excited but I was nervous about gaining weight again. I kept working out though because I was in a good routine and I know that it is good for the pregnancy. Then a week and a half later I lost that pregnancy. I was devastated and it through me for a loop. A few months later we found out that we were expecting again and I was terrified of losing that one too that I stopped working out, for fear of miscarrying again. My weight during the pregnancy went up but not too terrible. Once Chase came, the pregnancy weight came off within two weeks. But my pre pregnancy weight was not a weight I was ok with. So in November I decided to get a gym membership. I began working out at nights so that Phillip could be home with the kids. I would go about 3-4 times a week. Then I found that a friend in my ward was a major gym guru and went all the time. Once Chase was old enough, I switched to going in the mornings. We would go 5-6 times a week for 2 hours. We would do an hour class then work out for an hour on our own. I also starting counting calories with an app on my iphone and finally started to lose weight. I made small goals and I have one overall big goal. After 5 months of working out constantly, I finally lost 20 pounds. I hit a major plateau for almost 2 months and was getting extremely frustrated that I was working out so much, watching what I ate and wasn't losing a dang pound anymore. After much deliberation, research and talking to as many people as I could, I decided I was desperate enough to try the HCG diet. What did I have to lose besides weight right? At least hopefully. Anyway, we went down to California at the end of April and of course with going out to eat with our parents and such put back 4 stinking pounds. We got home on a Saturday and I started the HCG diet on Sunday. So today is my 23rd day on the diet, the last day of taking the HCG drops. I am finally happy to say, in 3 weeks I have lost 16 pounds, bringing my total weight lose this far to 32 pounds. I will admit it is very refreshing to have people notice that I am losing weight and I feel much better about myself. It is overwhelming to think that I still have 25 pounds that I would still ideally like to lose, but I am happy I have finally gotten this far. As I was searching through pictures to find my "biggest" picture to post, I noticed that over the years I have been so ashamed of how I looked that I really don't have many pictures of myself. I hope that from now I can be a bit more confident and be in more pictures. Haha. Now starting Friday I will be completely done with the very low calorie part of the diet and will start my 3 weeks of now starches, sugars or carbs. I can't tell you how excited I am to eat more food. haha and starting Friday I will begin my training for our half marathon in Park City in August. My hopes are that with this training and with my continuation of eating a very low carb diet that I will be able to lose more weight. I was going to wait till I had lost all the weight I wanted before I posted, but I guess I was just too excited about being done with this diet and I was also bored tonight that I decided to post. This was then........

Keep in mind this was taken only 5 weeks after Chase was born...haha

Then....embarrassing but a size 17....Now.....size 10-11

Im Really Bad At This.....

I have been really bad at this whole blogging thing. It just seems like we've been pretty busy lately but yet at the same time I don't have much to even say. Just a quick update. Abby is definitely in her terrible two's. One minute she is sweet and caring and the next she is whinny as can be and challenging everything. She has been completely potty trained for 7 months now and is becoming very independent in so many ways. She is a great big sister. She loves to make Chase laugh and loves to tease him. I am not trying to rush Chase into growing up too quickly, but I have to admit that it will be nice once he is old enough that they can actually run around and play together. I know that it will be more hectic when the two of them can get into trouble, but some days Abby just gets so bored playing by herself. But I am enjoying this time where Chase is not yet mobile. He is now 7 months and weighs 21 pounds. We have made many many trips to the Dr for him lately. He has had 4 ear infections in the past 4 months. He likes to give us a scare with spiking very high temperatures. In 5 weeks we go back to the ENT to do a hearing test and talk about possibly getting tubes in his ears. It seems that every time he gets any kind of congestion or runny nose, he gets an ear infection so tubes might be the only solution from here because the antibiotics don't always help him. Even when he is sick and has a 103.8 temperature, he is such a fun and sweet boy. He is always smiling and immediately puts everyone around him in a good mood. He loves to sit on the floor with his bucket and toys and enjoys watching Abby run circles around him. I love being a mom. My kids may drive me bonkers at times (and right now Abby does this pretty much daily) but I love them like crazy. Phillip has been busy with school but this semester is much better then last. I don't know how we even made it through last semester, but I am soooo glad its over. This semester he has been in the clinic a lot more and has been pulling lots and lots of teeth. I think he is finally liking school again, because he sure hated it last semester. We are still debating if he is going to specialize and become an oral surgeon or not...I guess only time will tell. As for me, well these last two and a half weeks I have been on the HCG diet and probably have not been very pleasant company lately as I am a bit crabby when I am hungry :) I am counting down the days for the diet to be done and then I can start training with Phillip for our half marathon in August. I have missed being able to work out, as on this diet you are not supposed to work out much. It will be nice to get back into a routine of going to the gym again. I miss getting my daily dose of endorphins :) Anyway, this post I am sure is extremely boring, but I just felt like updating again, and hopefully soon I will have something more exciting to post. Until then.....

Sorry all these pictures were taken with my phone...

Abby loves animals! We went to a little kid day at a car wash (random) and there was a mini petting zoo. She loved it!



Swinging at the park in California



Chase loved playing with my friend Missy's dog...good thing Max is a gentle giant :)






I thought I would include a video of Abby showing off her singing skills...haha she sure is a performer...enjoy!